To Avoid Upsets, Preseason #1 Florida Makes Proposal to Play All Games on Paper

Florida Gators logo
Originally uploaded by bjmcdonald

In what is being viewed as a revolutionary move, the Florida Gators, who are ranked #1 in the preseason coaches poll, have asked the NCAA if all 2009 games can just be played on paper.

"It makes a lot of sense if this passes," says a member of the Florida athletic department. "I mean, if we're #1, then we're favored in every game, right? Well, by playing the games 'on paper', we are guaranteed to go undefeated and be named national champions."

Proponents of this plan say it makes just as much sense as the BCS.

Steve Spurrier Makes Amends; Votes Tim Tebow First Team All-Virgin

Steve Spurrier
Originally uploaded by Kelly M. Lambert

To make up for not initially voting Tim Tebow preseason first team all SEC quarterback, the 'ol ball coach, Steve Spurrier, has voted Tim Tebow first team all-virgin.

"He's a talented kid," said Spurrier, "and if he supposedly passed on this girl or this girl, not to mention all the hotties at the University of Florida, then he's the best virgin QB in America."

In related news, being named pre-season all SEC was voted second most overrated in the conference, just behind Steve Spurrier.

Urban Meyer to Lane Kiffin - Welcome to the SEC

Great news!! No, we landed on the moon in 1969. We have looked into the future (or was it somehow the 1800s?) and have video of Lane Kiffin/Urban Meyer I. Welcome to the SEC, Lane. **WARNING!!** May be unsuitable for Tennessee fans.