With the Pittsburgh Pirates setting a record for consecutive losing seasons for major North American sports, one wonders, "How will Pittsburgh commemorate this achievement?" Here's how some are celebrating:
*By pouring champagne back into bottles in the Pirate clubhouse.
*By holding a parade through downtown Pittsburgh while driving in reverse. Instead of falling confetti, it will somehow be shot into the sky.
*By avoiding all riots, as citizens will stay sober and not turn over any cars or set any cars on fire.
*By learning the names of some of the players. This must be done quickly, however, as 80% of their current roster will most likely be traded by next season.
*By destroying all visual evidence of the season, rather than creating a highlight DVD.
*By becoming a fan of the Phillies.
*The Pirates still have a team? GO STEELERS!
Showing posts with label Pittsburgh Pirates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pittsburgh Pirates. Show all posts
MLB Trade Deadline Buyers Spotted at Wal-Mart Trying to Find a Bargain
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
These tough economic times have made their way into professional sports. Several Major League Baseball GMs for "buying" franchises have been spotted at Wal-Mart, trying to find a good deal.
Ruben Amaro, Jr., the Phillies general manager, says that this trend is going to continue. "I mean teams are trying to save money. Just look at the Yankees. They can't even sell their cheap home plate seats for a paltry $1250. Take us for example. We can trade half of our minor league players for Roy Halladay, OR, we can go to Wal-Mart and pick up a couple of bargains. Like a pitcher with a torn rotator cuff for only $8.99, or maybe a shortstop with a pronounced limp for 5 bucks."
Some other popular Wal-Mart bargains include steroid free players (2 for $25) and anything and everything from the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Pirates Continue Trading Frenzy; Ship Stargell's Career and '91 NL East Title to Yankees
Ruben Amaro, Jr., the Phillies general manager, says that this trend is going to continue. "I mean teams are trying to save money. Just look at the Yankees. They can't even sell their cheap home plate seats for a paltry $1250. Take us for example. We can trade half of our minor league players for Roy Halladay, OR, we can go to Wal-Mart and pick up a couple of bargains. Like a pitcher with a torn rotator cuff for only $8.99, or maybe a shortstop with a pronounced limp for 5 bucks."
Some other popular Wal-Mart bargains include steroid free players (2 for $25) and anything and everything from the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Pirates Continue Trading Frenzy; Ship Stargell's Career and '91 NL East Title to Yankees
Pirates Continue Trading Frenzy - Ship Stargell's Career and '91 NL East Title to Yankees
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Following the trades of Nate McClouth, Nyjer Morgan, Eric Hinske and Sean Burnett, not to mention Jason Bay last season, the Pittsburgh Pirates are continuing to deal. In a startling trade, the Pirates sent Willie Stargell's career and the 1991 National League East title to the Yankees for Kyle Hawkins (a little league all-star in the Bronx), a dozen baseballs, some pine tar and 3 giant tubs of Dubble Bubble gum.
Pirates GM, Neal Huntington, wants to reassure fans that these, as well as future moves, are necessary for the franchise to look towards the future. "Stargell's career and the 1991 NL East title are in the past, we need to build for the future. That Hawkins kid is gonna be pretty good. He throws, like 58 miles per hour. I think that's good for a 12 year old. He can play a little shortstop too. And we're not done trading. We need to do all we can to improve by, say....2014. If we can get a good offer for the 1960 World Series trophy, we'll do it. I'm not against trading PNC Park for a few minor league stadiums either."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
