Metrodome Magic Just Some Dude in the Upper Deck with a Magic 8 Ball

The Twins continued their improbable late season run, with a one game playoff victory over the Detroit Tigers in extra innings. Many are attributing the Twins victory to Metrodome magic, as this is the last season the Twins will play in the dome. Today, it was revealed that Metrodome magic was just some dude in the upper deck with a magic 8 ball.

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Tigers-Twins to Play Much Less Exciting Singleheader

The Tigers and Twins, with the American League Central title possibly hanging in the balance, played a very exciting, playoff type atmosphere doubleheader yesterday, with each team picking up a win. Major League Baseball has decided to follow up that excitement with a boring, ho-hum one game singleheader.

"Way to go Major League Baseball," said one Twins fan. "We build up all of this drama with a doubleheader and they follow it up with one game. Booorrriiinnnggg!"

Tiger fans feel the same way.

Said Reginald Patterson, a 40-year-old unemployed Tiger fan, "Why can't we play three games, or four, or six? Half of Detroit is out of work. At least give us something to look forward to."

Tigers, Twins in Heated Battle to Get Swept by Yankees in Playoffs

Twins-Tigers
by beautyredefined

The Detroit Tigers and the Minnesota Twins are taking the American League Central Division race down to the wire, a race otherwise known as the Battle to Get Swept by the Yankees in the Playoffs. Detroit, by virtue of today's victory, holds a three game lead in the division, but the two teams play four more times before the season is out.

"It will be interesting," said Twins manager Ron Gardenhire. "Both teams want to be the ballclub that gets swept by the Yankees in the playoffs. It's going to be a dogfight."

Despite the three game lead, and the Twins without slugger Justin Morneau for the rest of the season, Detroit is not overlooking them.

"They are a very well managed and disciplined team," said Jim Leyland, manager of the Tigers. "The Twins could still get swept even without Morneau versus the Yankees. But we don't plan on giving them that opportunity. We are going to be the ones to end our season against New York."

Confident words from both sides, as neither will concede anything. Unfortunately, Major League Baseball, Fox and TBS don't care who the Yankees opponent is, as they won't pay them any attention anyway.

Tigers Get Jarrod Washburn & Lose to Indians; Trade Deemed a Complete Bust

Jarrod Washburn
Originally uploaded by dbadair

At the MLB trade deadline, the Detroit Tigers aquired pitcher Jarrod Washburn, hoping to fill a hole in their rotation, pushing them toward a division championship. Unfortunately, they lost to the Indians 6 - 5 in extra innings, make the trade a complete bust.

"We messed up on that one," said Tiger manager Jim Leyland, in between packs of cigarettes. "What the hell!?! I thought trades were supposed to make us better, not worse. Oh well, I guess. Best of luck to the Twins and White Sox as they battle it out."

Washburn was upset that he had been blamed for the sudden collapse of the Tigers, as he was not even in the line-up vs. Cleveland.

Tim McCarver on Peavy Trade: "Jake Peavy, When Healthy, is a Pitcher That Can Pitch for the White Sox"

Jake Peavy
Originally uploaded by gregeichelberger

You can always count on Tim McCarver to add some insight. Here is a little more (fake) analysis from Tim on MLB's trade deadline stories.

*Roy Halladay not being traded: "Halladay wasn't traded, so he can still pitch for the Blue Jays."

*Jarrod Washburn to the Tigers: "Washburn is a left-handed pitcher, and he will still be left-handed when he gets to Detroit."

*Nick Johnson to the Marlins: "It's hot in Florida, and the Marlins play in Florida. Nick will have to get used to playing for the Marlins when it is hot in Florida."

*Jerry Hairston, Jr. to the Yankees: "Jerry Hairston, Jr. has the same name as his father."

*Victor Martinez to the Red Sox: "Martinez is no longer a Cleveland Indian. He plays for the Red Sox now.