Eric Mangini Threatening Fines for Players Who Reach the End Zone

Eric Mangini has taken discipline to another level. Several players have filed grievances against him for what they view to be unfair fines. One player was even fined $1701 for taking a $3 bottle of water from a hotel. It is believed that Mangini is also threatening players with fines for reaching the end zone.

"Yeah I'll fine them if they reach the end zone," said a stern Mangini. "Not scoring touchdowns is just a part of my plan for the Cleveland Browns. It takes discipline to not reach the end zone, and I will fine them if they do. But on a brighter note, we are close to being very disciplined, because we are already not scoring very often."

Mangini is also working on completely re-inventing the game of football. His current plan involves a two quarterback/two football system to make his Brady Quinn - Derek Anderson dilemma less stressful while confusing defenses at the same time.

"If I can somehow get two balls on the field at the same time then our chances for completing a pass double," noted Mangini. "Plus, it will bewilder the defense having two balls to defend. It's a genius idea. Make that a Mangenius idea."