Sabathia has tested positive for cheesecake.
"Technically, it's not banned by Major League Baseball, and I guess it's just a dessert and not drugs," says the source. "But we like to create juicy news from literally nothing. C.C.'s a big dude, and he didn't get that way by eating carrot sticks or leafy green vegetables."
The same source also confirmed that other pitchers including David Wells, Bartolo Colon, and Bobby Jenks have tested positive for performance enhancing desserts.