Cubs on Brink of Clinching 101st Consecutive Disappointing Season

The cursed Chicago Cubs have been disappointing fans since 1908, the last time the franchise won the World Series. This year's version of the Cubbies can clinch the 101st consecutive disappointing season by losing to the Giants, or with a win by the St. Louis Cardinals over the Colorado Rockies.

"It's great that we can uphold the tradition of the Cubs franchise and disappoint Cubs fans everywhere," said manager Lou Pineilla. "Tradition is important in baseball, and we are just glad to be a part of the storied history of the Chicago Cubs. Or the unstoried history. However you look at it."

Cubs management is already working on disappointing fans next year, by determining which big name free agents they will pursue, giving fans hope, only to have that player underachieve or succumb to some type of injury.

Brad Lidge Named Phillies Playoff Opponent MVP

Brad Lidge blew another save last night, giving up two runs in the Phillies 7-6 loss to the Marlins. But some good has come out of it for Lidge, as he has been named the Phillies playoff opponent MVP.

"It's quite an honor to be named MVP," said Lidge, "even though it is our opponent. But being a playoff MVP for the Dodgers, Cardinals or the wild card team is pretty cool. I'm just glad that they hold me in such high regard."

In addition to being named MVP for the Phillies playoff opponent, Lidge has been moved to the starting rotation. Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel says the move was made to give the Phillies a chance to catch up after Lidge gives up 2 or 3 runs, something that was very difficult to do in the 9th inning.

Steroids Wish They Were Used by Albert Pujols

Several high profile MLB players have been linked to steroids. Albert Pujols has not. It angers him that due to his success, people accuse him of using PEDs. In a recent article, Albert spoke out against it: Rounding Third: Cardinals slugger Albert Pujols is batting cleanup for baseball.

But this story does not appear to have an end in sight. Steroids are out to get Albert Pujols.

"I look for Albert every time the Cardinals come to town," said Steroids, whose recent widespread use in baseball has allowed him to purchase homes in San Francisco, Chicago, New York, as well as several vacation homes in the Caribbean and South America. "I'm gonna get Albert. I don't care if he's in the team hotel, the clubhouse before the game, or out to dinner after. I'm switching into what I like to call 'Groupie Mode'."

Several past major leaguers, such as Rafael Palmeiro, have warned Pujols to look out for Steroids when in "Groupie Mode", as Steroids have been known to spike countless protein shakes and B-12 shots in the past.