Redskins Ticket Office Woes

The Jersey of the Team Owner
Originally uploaded by Forge93

Shame on the Washington Redskins ticket office. First, they sell tickets to brokers, even with a long waiting list of fans that would buy tickets. Then, it is revealed that they sued season ticket holders who defaulted on their season ticket agreement. They even forced one woman into bankruptcy. Now they are suing New York Giants fans for buying tickets to Giants games.

"We want people to pay money for Washington Redskins tickets, not New York Giants tickets," said a source from within the organization. "If we can't get enough cash from Giants fans, we'll move on to the Jets, then the Eagles, then right on down the Atlantic coast. We will harass every NFL fan base until we get our money."

Despite being told that no legal right existed for them to do this, the Redskins are undeterred.

"Dan Snyder didn't become a kajillionairre by giving stuff away. We're going to take what's rightfully ours. We're going to take what's not rightfully ours. And we're going to take what we want to be ours. If it's a bad PR move, so be it."

Somebody Tell the Giants They're Giving Eli Manning $100 Million

Eli Manning
Originally uploaded by MojoMujari

Sources out of New York say that the Giants have mistakenly rewarded Eli Manning with a 6 year extension worth nearly $100 million. Some believe that this was just an elaborate prank played on the Giants by Eli and Peyton Manning.

"We are excited to have one of the greatest QBs of all-time on our roster," said a Giants spokesperson. "We are sad to let Eli go, I mean we did win a Super Bowl with him, but his brother is clearly a superior quarterback. I mean who in their right mind would make his brother Eli the highest paid player in the NFL? Seriously. What? Whose name is on the contract? Oh, crap."