Despite Classified Ad, Neighborhood Flyers, Browns Deny Shopping Quinn

With the NFL trade deadline approaching, many are wondering if the Cleveland Browns are willing to trade Brady Quinn.

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CBS Apologizes for Televising Browns vs. Bills

In one of the ugliest games in recent memory, the Cleveland Browns defeated the Buffalo Bills 6-3.

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Eric Mangini Threatening Fines for Players Who Reach the End Zone

Eric Mangini has taken discipline to another level. Several players have filed grievances against him for what they view to be unfair fines. One player was even fined $1701 for taking a $3 bottle of water from a hotel. It is believed that Mangini is also threatening players with fines for reaching the end zone.

"Yeah I'll fine them if they reach the end zone," said a stern Mangini. "Not scoring touchdowns is just a part of my plan for the Cleveland Browns. It takes discipline to not reach the end zone, and I will fine them if they do. But on a brighter note, we are close to being very disciplined, because we are already not scoring very often."

Mangini is also working on completely re-inventing the game of football. His current plan involves a two quarterback/two football system to make his Brady Quinn - Derek Anderson dilemma less stressful while confusing defenses at the same time.

"If I can somehow get two balls on the field at the same time then our chances for completing a pass double," noted Mangini. "Plus, it will bewilder the defense having two balls to defend. It's a genius idea. Make that a Mangenius idea."

Why Mangini Still Hasn't Picked a QB

Decisions Decisions
Originally uploaded by scottandreen

The Cleveland Browns have had one of the most talked about quarterback competitions this preseason. Will it be Derek Anderson or Brady Quinn? Coach Mangini has yet to announce who the starter will be. He claims that it will be harder for Cleveland opponents to game plan for week 1 without knowing the starter, but a source from within the organization has given us some other reasons that have led to the procrastination.

* Brady Quinn may leave the team to begin a lucrative modeling career
If that happens, it would completely demoralize the team if Quinn were to be proclaimed the leader, only to leave for greener pastures.

*Braylon Edwards Will Just Drop Passes Anyway
Who cares if it's Quinn or Anderson throwing the ball when the #1 receiver has the dropsies?

*Jeff George is Still Available
Mangini wants to bring in a veteran with experience to run the show. If anything, he'd be confident.

*Mangini is Contemplating a 100% Wildcat Offense with Josh Cribbs
The Wildcat is the revolutionary dangerous NFL offense. Just ask any announcer that is obligated to say "Wildcat". Mangini obviously wants to be dangerous on every play.

*Brett Ratliff has snuck in late to steal the job
Who's Brett Ratliff?

Browns to Name Starting QB Based on Higher Madden Rating

Cleveland Browns
Originally uploaded by dermpics

The Cleveland Browns have a highly publicized quarterback battle this preseason between Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn. There have even been cheating allegations during intrasquad scrimmages. To settle things once and for all, coach Eric Mangini has decided to use the QB with the higher rating on Madden 10, to be released tomorrow.

"I'm sick of this crap," said Mangini. "This cheating nonsense, all the questions. I'm just sick of it. The Madden folks have done this for a while, so why not name a starter based on their rating? I know I could have used the internet to find the ratings sooner, but I like to play the game myself first."

Mangini would not comment on which rating he would use, but one would assume overall. For Derek Anderson's sake, he better hope it's the overall rating and not the dreamy good looks rating. If that's the case, he'll be holding a clipboard for sure.