Hedo Turkoglu Demands Trade Out of Toronto

In a stunning turn of events, forward Hedo Turkoglu has demanded a trade out of Toronto. One of the biggest names on the free agent market this year, Turkoglu, who was reportedly close to signing with the Blazers, pulled a last minute switcheroo, backed out of his verbal agreement with Portland, and signed with Toronto. "I don't want to play with the Blazers. They are a bunch of doo doo heads," said Turkoglu. But 5 minutes after reaching terms with the Raptors, he reconsidered...again. "Wait a minute. Is this contract legally binding? I don't want to play here anymore. Is there a better team that I can play for? This isn't fair! I HATE YOU!!" Sources tell us if a trade cannot be reached, Turkoglu will sit in his locker and pout until dinner time or take his ball and go home.