consecutive losing seasons for major North American sports, one wonders, "How will Pittsburgh commemorate this achievement?" Here's how some are celebrating:
*By pouring champagne back into bottles in the Pirate clubhouse.
*By holding a parade through downtown Pittsburgh while driving in reverse. Instead of falling confetti, it will somehow be shot into the sky.
*By avoiding all riots, as citizens will stay sober and not turn over any cars or set any cars on fire.
*By learning the names of some of the players. This must be done quickly, however, as 80% of their current roster will most likely be traded by next season.
*By destroying all visual evidence of the season, rather than creating a highlight DVD.
*By becoming a fan of the Phillies.
*The Pirates still have a team? GO STEELERS!